The World According to a Geek

I think Planet Earth is pretty nice.

Do I think there are improvements that could be made? I sure do.

Dear world [and InterWebs], listen up.

The following needs to happen, like, now.

1. During finals, all restaurants must be open 24/7. When I am busy memorizing 119 different types of welding, or if I'm trying to figure out whether I want to use mesh currents or KCL in my circuit, the last thing I want to eat is some paltry sub from Jimmy John's. No, serious studying requires serious food: An entire cow slapped onto a giant sourdough bun. Thank-you, Mitch's, for your London Broil. Now, have that thing ready for me at 3am...

2. Parking Spaces should be distributed according to GPA. Obviously, distance from the library is inversely related to your average.

Duh.

3. There will always be a really cool marathon on television on Friday nights. Maybe with zombies. There is a  93% guarantee I have nothing going on Friday evening. Saturdays are late enough such that I can study for the next week's tests [I won't, but I have that option] and not be a total dweeb. But I need some help with my Fridays. I will feel less lame about it if I have something ridiculous to watch on television. An America's Next Top Model or Project Runway  marathon would suffice...

4. I want this song to blare down from the heavens every time I walk into a test.

5. For every problem I solve, I want to burn 50 calories. Geeks should be allowed to look good during bathing suit season  too.

6. For every song about breakups and heartache, one song should be written about overcoming the struggles of a geek, such as: papercuts, bad test grades, creepy professors, finding something to do on a Friday night, the fact that Bojangles closes at 10pm during finals, running out of engineering paper, etc. I'm just spitballin' here...

I mean, these are all fairly reasonable...I would go so far as to say intuitive.

RIGHT?

Dressing up as Dr. Dictionary for a "Dress Up Your Counselor" Competition.

Sometimes I wear this outfit to the library.

A picture is worth a gatrillion words. 

-bRob