Awkward Truths

"i can kill some fried chicken"

tried to hit the main food groups

"i wonder if they  have shrimp cocktail up in this joint" 

we're the fun Bible study

-bRob

Sophisticated Situations

Yesterday, the department treated all the senior girls and a few of our favorite professors to an afternoon tea at a local inn. It was precious. I dressed in my floweriest girliest sundress... Sophistication may not be my forte. To be fair, though, I think this sort of tea is every little girl's dream come true. I should have taken more pictures.

When we sat down, there was a menu with at least twelve types of tea available for selection. I chose a tea called "Tea of Good Tidings" [...seriously] that was a mix of spices and ... other leaves. I chose it because it had rose in the description. 

Our waiter [it should be noted that he had a soul patch] spoke in an extremely affected tone as he described the intricate steeping process for our teas, served in individual tea pots. Chill out,  I'm pretty sure I've been making Lipton tea since I was in the womb. Same thing. 

Full disclosure: I snickered when our waiter brought out our "sweets & savories". His affected manner was just too much, and also I am incredibly appropriate.

I definitely enjoyed the food - perhaps a little too much. When one of the others didn't want her sandwich [excuse me, "savory"], I was quick to snag it. But don't worry, I was super classy about it.

superb photography

I really loved our tea, and I thought it was a great idea. How lucky am I to be part of a close-knit department that celebrates with its seniors?

As much as I enjoyed it, however, I am starting to think that I might not be the most sophisticated person you've ever met. At the tea yesterday...I spilled the tea. At last week's endowment dinner, I threw my roll across the room [mostly...entirely on accident]. And when I tried to joke with the grad student next to me about using the wrong fork, he just gave me a look [...grad students, amirite]. At tonight's department dinner, I told the underclassman next to me to switch seats [i'm a senior, i've paid my dues...] so I could sit next to Steph and keep a running commentary during the speeches.

I'm not sure my loud and obnoxious schtick always translate in sophisticated situations. Also I feel like the fact that I call sophisticated situations sophisticated situations suggests that I am not perhaps the most prepared for sophisticated situations.

But if you ever need someone with whom you can go on a cupcake run, hit me up. This morning I woke up dreaming about cupcakes. Then I went and got a cupcake for breakfast. None of that is a joke.

-bRob

The Swagger of a College Kid

Class has been in sesh for about two weeks now, and I thought you deserved to know what my schedule looks like.

Mondays:


8:30 - Maybe the worst graduate class in the world.

The professor spends the majority of the time joking around with his graduate student broseph. Broseph feels like it is his personal mission to break every silence [and non-silence]  with questions and personal anecdotes and a series of unhilarious jokes. Which compliments the professor's non-stop series of unfunny jokes.

I almost raised my hand and asked them if the professor and his bro would like to continue their conversation after class.

Also, I haven't figured out what this class is about yet.

10:15 - Senior Project

We spend this time talking about how to communicate and talk to companies and not make bumbling fools of ourselves.

I'll be working with a company that makes rotors for airplanes. Also, I found out the president of the company taught my Sunday School Class way back in the day. I, professional as ever, made sure to tell him so, giggle, and shake hands really awkwardly.

12:30 - Self Defense

Learning how to bust up a criminal's nose.

Tuesdays:


11:30 - Something about facilities and planning them.

1:30 - Quality Control.

Someone should have told me when I took statistics a bazillion years ago that it actually mattered for every single other class I have to take ever.

6:00 - Fiction Class


I decided to take a fiction class for fun. Someone asked me why I didn't just decide to read more...

To which I respond, "Because I love the sorts of people that take an undergraduate english class and hearing their suuuuuuper deep insights into Pushkin's short stories."

It's funny because it isn't true.

Wednesdays:

Same as Mondays...except...
1:30 - Canoeing


An eclectic mix of extremely outdoorsy parks-and-tourism students and chacos and patagonia. And then there's the clumsy nerd girl who can't get into the canoe. Can you guess who that is??

Thursdays:

Same as Tuesdays...except...
3:30 - Country Dance


There is an overwhelming amount of cowboy boots and camo in this class. I don't really know what I was expecting out of a class called, "Country Dance." And then there's the clumsy nerd girl who can't turn in the right direction. Can you guess who that is??

One guy finally just picked me up and turned me around.

Fridays:

In theory I would sleep in, as I do not have any classes on Fridays. But I'm spending all my life trying to inject some juice back into our school's manufacturing club.

I won the presidency in a hotly contested race against no one. And this one club takes up more time than all of my classes combined.


So. There's my semester. I decided taking three PE's was a good idea, but now I realized that actually attending 18 hours worth of classes is somewhat of a time-suck.

Oh, hindsight.

What's your schedule look like? Crazy? Fun? Whatever it is, I hope it isn't boring.

-bRob

Orneriness and Candlelight Carol Sings

You'll see that it's hereditary.

arm wrestling with my father at Thanksgiving Dinner circa 2008.

We're an obnoxious crew.  I get ten times worse as soon as I get home. Trust me - being home is perfect fodder for therapy.

We all went to the Candlelight Carol Sing on Sunday eve [I'm only using the word "eve" because I feel like that's something you have to do on the holidays. amIrite?]

We go every year, and it's something to which I look forward. However, I feel like my family gets snarkier every year, or perhaps the Sing just becomes increasingly formulaic...

Each year:

The church's most beautiful family, with all 7 children, sings a perfectly tuned Christmas melody.

I always snicker when I imagine my family trying to sing a song on stage in harmony.

An adorable four-year-old comes on stage and sings a really weird and endearing version of "Happy Birthday, Jesus."
Exploiting child cuteness for mass appeal? Check.

Dad falls asleep.

Try throwing something at him.

The sixty-year-old pastor's wife with crazy insane vibrato sings a song that lasts for approximately forever 

minutes.

My family has perfected a synchronized eye roll when she walks onto the stage.

Then I begin praying for forgiveness on behalf of my whole family.

Mom and my little sister get into a pinching war.

I whisper-yell at them to hush.

A high-schooler solos in the next song with the adult choir.

She sings extra loudly, drowning out the entire adult choir and inhaling a bit of microphone with every note.

We sing Christmas Carols.

We light our candles.

Everyone [and by everyone, I just mean the members of my family] makes an obligatory "don't burn the hair of the person in front of you" joke.

Is that obligatory or just something weird my family does?

The best part of the whole night is blowing out the candle and playing with the wax.

My sister blows my candle out when I'm not looking.

Night. Ruined.

We then spend the rest of the evening re-running our commentary from the Candlelight Carol Sing. 

We may just be the slightest bit ornery.

How are the holidays with your family? What obnoxious traditions herald the holidays in your crazy house?

Quiz + Prize = F.U.N.

While you all wait with bated breath for me to post about my recent trip to Budapest, why not take a quiz in some of your free time?

It's hahalarious.

Is this passage John Mayer or the Message Bible?

by Jon Acuff of Stuff Christians Like

Also, for the first time ever on this blog, I am offering a prize to the person with the highest score.

Once you take the quiz, comment below with the number of passages you got correct, and I will...

...

......

.........wait for it

write a super fun post entirely about you!

Is that not a worthy prize??? To be quite honest, a cameo like that on this blog is worth about twenty minutes of fame.

Viel Glück!

-bRob