Not of it.

I've been feeling marginally melancholy today. I mean - I'm pretty emotionally unstable in general, so take that for what it's worth, but today just felt bizarre.

Before I move on to the meat of the post, today I am thankful for: Le banjo. What would folksy music be without it? Sufjan Stevens' version of Come Thou Fount is the best example of a great song made even better with the banjo. [To be honest though...I can't stand the banjo by itself. It's like garlic - you wouldn't eat it alone, but it makes a dish viel besser, ja? {I LOVE analogies.}]



Moving on: how disappointing is this world?

I don't really know what put me in a funk today. My family left our little vacation spot at the beach this morning, and maybe it was just me staring out the window and thinking thoughts [hah].I can't help but notice, after a sweet little hibernation at the beach, that going back to the "grind" [ does school count as the grind?] seems so bleak.
So then I think about that to which I look forward [I'm trying to avoid putting prepositions at the end of the sentence; worth it?]...all the possibilities this next semester brings. After a year away from good old State - seeing my best people again, throwing myself into school work (nerd), applying to grad school [kind of], wearing my new blazer and mustard wool skirt [...don't judge me], driving my new car >>>, the Flying Biscuit, Bible study with Beth Moore...so many exciting new things!

But, as with this vacation, the excitement always ends. These things, in and of themselves, mean so little in light of eternity. I'm always planning. Living for the future. And that's what excitement is, right? Anticipation of something to come? The future?

But what happens when the future gets here, and it isn't what was promised? What happens when "future" become a present that leaves you exhausted, disappointed, or heartbroken? Or what if your "future" was great, but now it's over? The future I'm so busy planning: getting my phD, finding the perfect chef/banjo-player/car fixer-upper/vacation planner/scientific genius Christian husband, traveling, career ladder climbing...what happens when I'm done? I'm married, traveled, doctorate-ed, etc?

What then?

We're left wanting more. Something else to hope for, plan on, dream about [prep placement = fail]. And it's like that, a constant stream of shallow hopes and desires that will leave you thirsty and desperate.

WHY? Because we weren't made to be filled by anything in this world. There is nothing and no one that can satisfy the constant desire and hunger you have. You were made for another world.

I could cry, I want others to recognize this truth so badly. You weren't created for earth and it will never be enough!

John 15:19
If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.

You have the choice to serve a God so much greater than this earth. Live for Him. Not for this.

The world is so disappointing sometimes.

But that is not the end. Thank the Lord this isn't home.

-brittany

"So inveterate is their appetite for heaven"
{CS Lewis}