Do you ever wonder?

I wonder if the Lord ever gets sick of my nonsense.

I remember last fall when I was going through a really rough time, I cried non-stop. After a while, I don't think anyone cared anymore. I guess I can hardly blame them, but it hurt nonetheless. Nothing hurt more, however, than when someone I esteemed highly and considered one of my closest "people" told me that it was time to get over it. He got angry with me and blew up and told me to stop crying and that it was ridiculous that I wasn't better yet.

And it makes me wonder if sometimes the Lord thinks I'm such a silly girl (I don't mean cute silly, I mean ridiculous and aggravating). I wonder if He gets aggravated that I'm crying again, or disappointed that I've let myself get hurt once more.

And the Bible said the Lord removes our iniquities from us as far as the east is from the west. The Bible also commands us not to grieve the Holy Spirit. If I repeatedly sin, will the Holy Spirit finally say, "Enough is enough, Brittany. You're not listening, so I'm no longer talking." It makes me wonder if this time is the final time, if I've grieved the Holy Spirit so badly, that this time He decides to turn off our communication.

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God, even when He is silent.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVWYhkWPZ7A

-brittany