The Fruits of My Not Laboring

Hey Webs.

I should be studying for my a test tomorrow. I went out and bought:

- 4-pack of Starbucks Bottled Fraps 

- an Energy Drink (...my first ever...)

- a bag of gummi worms

- pizza rolls

- a microwavable cookie dish

- soda

...

and I still haven't worked up the motivation to start studying. [I did, however, crack open those gummi worms.] So I figured I'd use my studying time efficiently and blog instead.

Today is one of those days where I feel slightly sad, for about a billion different reasons. Last week I got a test back - a test on which I thought I'd done well. I received the lowest test score I've ever received before. When I went to talk to the professor today and ask questions about it, he asked me what I'd gotten on the previous test. It was also remarkably low. The professor shook his head sadly and gave me a look of pity - whether because I'm a forecasting/inventory control imbecile or because I'm doomed to failure, I'm not quite sure. Then he said, "Well, I hate that." Oh for SOMETHING's sakes! You hating my horrible test grade on my behalf is like me hating how bald you are for you. It's stupid. Let's just both leave one another with our dignity and not mention how sad it all is. 

That may have been a dumb analogy.

But as I left the professor's office, I broke down in tears. TEARS. Over a test grade. Or two horrible test grades, rather.

It's just one of those days where there isn't  much fight left in me, you know?

And I was thinking about that - about how just mundanely sad I'm feeling right now. Not just about tests or mosquito-bitten legs or the fact that I haven't done my taxes yet [...]. Just a little pathetic-ly sad.

I read Psalm 55 earlier today:

⁴ My heart is in anguish within me, And the terrors of death have fallen upon me. ⁵ Fear and trembling come upon me, And horror has overwhelmed me. ⁶ I said, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest. ⁷ “Behold, I would wander far away, I would lodge in the wilderness.  

David's got it. Some days I just want to pick up my stuff and head west. 

There's a small [big] melodramatic part of me that wants to stop there and just be like, yeah. YEAH. Headed west, losers.

But I don't think that's the point. Psalm 55, again:

²² Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken. ...But I will trust in You. 

God is good, guys. God. is. good.

-bRob

PS: My buddy E came to my front door and brought me a cupcake. Whatttt? That girl so bomb. snarked it down in two seconds flat.