bRob the Romantic

Hi Webs -

I don't want you to feel sorry for me or anything but i did write this on Valentine's evening from the inside of an airport hotel room that smelled vaguely of oldness. I trust you're grateful I spared you all my Valentine's Day whinging on Valentine's Day proper, because that's the kind of thoughtful person I sometimes accidentally am.

As the snowpocalypse reigned supreme over in NC, my red-eye flight was delayed and I finally groveled my way into a ticket on Saturday morning.

via imgur

Which, if you do the math, leaves me in my airport hotel over Valentine's day. Being single on Valentine's Day is obviously not the most fun way to spend a holiday devoted to romance, and sitting alone in a hotel room spilling an ungodly amount of Thai food  (the lady offered me three sets of utensils. I'd probably find that amusing if it weren't such a cliche) all over the bed kind of exacerbates the whole ordeal.



After a lot of that ^^^ and about 3 hours of this  on repeat and just general all around self-pitying, I decided the best thing I could do to cheer myself up is to give back; giving back is so rewarding. Or so I've read.

In that generous spirit I have compiled some free romantic advice loosely based on a date I may or may not have had with Office Pervert, formerly know as OC for those who have followed along religiously.

How to Romance the Ladies, Probably

by bRob

1)  Practice saying "You look good" in a way that doesn't make me think you might have ladies' body parts stashed in your basement.

2) If a restaurant serves wine in a plastic glass, I promise you don't need to swirl and sniff before delicately sipping. That wine most definitely came from Wal-Mart.

3) Maybe don't hype up and make reservations for a restaurant that serves wine in a plastic glass.

4) Don't take me somewhere where your friend works and is going to make lewd gestures and point every time I turn around.

5) Also, if a girl does not seem to appreciate you staring at her chest, and if she's told you to stop grabbing/stroking her upper thigh ten times, the next best thing to do is not to grab her butt and yell "goosed you!"

It's my fault, really. I should have punched him the ninth time he grabbed my thigh.

6) Collecting pinball tables in your living room is not impressive. It's embarrassing and seriously makes me question your financial sense. And your sense in general. HOW old are you?

yeah no, not interested in seeing pictures.

stop texting me.

7) You: "What kind of Christian are you?"
Your gorgeous date: "Uh I guess I was raised Southern Baptist?"
You: "You might find this interesting. I'm going to the Vatican this summer."

Don't say that.

8) Did you just bring up marriage within a week of meeting me?

9) Know your strengths. If you take a sophisticated lady to an improv show, and if you aren't actually on stage, you are not a comedian. I cannot emphasize that enough. Do not try to be louder than the comedians. Do not get jealous and pout when I laugh at the comedians. They are funny. You are not. Deal.

10)  Because hope springs eternal and because i am a romantic at heart, i leave you with what highschool bRob considered the height of romance. Tip number 10 - just do this.

Oh, and here's one for the ladies: Drive yourselves. So important to have an escape plan.

I hope you feel a little loved today.

-bRob

As If I was gonna do Diff Eq anyways...

So. I've been less than awesome lately. In fact, I might say my life was downright pathetic. I've been spiritually dry, mostly because there are things I don't want to let go. The thing about Jesus - you're either in or you're out. You can't say, "Hold on...there's this thing, Jesus." No - we have to deny ourselves DAILY.

Not once.
Not twice.
Every single day.

Some Christians find such joy in that. For some, they are so in love with Jesus Christ that they would do anything asked of them.

Me...I hope to be there soon. Yet I still struggle. I've recently been really angry with God. Why can't I have THIS ONE THING? Hmmm? WHY? I'm doing so great at everything else (ps - that is most definitely not true). All I ask, God, is that you grant me this one wish.
I thought that just maybe if I did everything else right, I would get what I wanted. But sometimes...the answer is still a resounding NO (plus, it's pretty presumptuous to think I'm doing "everything else right.").

I don't know why God has me where He does right now, and we have been more than a little distant as of late. I feel like the Holy Spirit has gotten quieter, which is heartbreaking. But the one thing I know for certain is that He has been saying NO, and while I've tried to rationalize holding on and wishing and wanting and all of that mess, He has been unwavering. You don't negotiate these things with God, I'm learning. So, last night, I relinquished this thing to God .

And while I'm sad and hurt, I take such solace in the fact that I'm back in my Savior's arms again. They'd been there all along, but it's pretty hard to run after God when you're holding on to earthly things.

My pops happened to mention this verse the other day (I, of course, rolled my eyes; who wants to hear a Bible verse when she's feeling foul and bitter?) - and while NO ONE wants to be Cain in the story of Cain and Abel - I find myself identifying wholly with him in these simple verses.

"Then the LORD said to Cain, 'Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crushing at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it."
-Genesis 4: 6-7

I have been SO angry at God. We've had multiple showdowns these past few weeks (He won...in case you were wondering). I've been frustrated, bitter, rebellious, and mostly, just in a desert. You know? Dry and unsatisfied. And lonely. Distancing yourself from God will leave you feeling very very lonely. Ostracized from other Christians, friends, family, and God - the One who longs for the most intimate relationship.

And that's just it - I haven't done "well." I know it. I knew it all along. I tried to rationalize feeding my own selfish wants and desires instead of going to the Lord. I tried so hard. Seriously, E for Effort, bRob (but really, F for Fail).

That passage made me realize that God knew exactly what I was doing all along. Ignoring Him. Saying no. That's not doing well. That's failing.
I knew it too. But I pretended I didn't.

Let me tell you - I am not happy right now. I am sad. But you know what? I'm NOT lonely. God took me right back. He has been sitting right beside me with a raised brow, patiently loving me and waiting for me to return. I may not feel hopeful, but I have faith that God has a plan for me, one that does not entail my being miserable for forever. I may struggle with these unfulfilled wants, but I am unbelievably relieved that God and I are friends again.

God always wins.

-bRob