Waiting, in Silence

I am a problem-solver. Not a particularly good one, but a problem-solver nevertheless. Have you heard that dumb interview question, "Which would you rather have: a problem or a blank piece of paper?" I will always pick the problem. If you hand me a blank piece of paper all you're going to get is 11 poorly drawn cubes, maybe a spiral, and blood from the two papercuts I'm basically contractually obliged to get.

But when you give me a problem, I spring into action. I love problems because I love answers. And I love answers because I love knowing exactly what to do.

In the middle of uncertainty and struggle, then, I immediately go into problem-solving mode. When money gets tight, when sickness enters the family, or when I can't stand the thought of working another day at this damn job - I start googling, drawing charts, building spreadsheets. I make contingency plans. And if that fails, I begin calling people - the boyfriend, someone from church, my Dad - someone who can tell me what to do.

I've been dealing with some personal battles for the past couple of weeks, and I desperately long for someone to give me answers. At this point I might even take a bad answer, so long as I have one. But, for the first time, as I began writing the text or an overwrought email, I stopped myself.

As much as I want a plan, and as I sit in the still, small, and necessarily intimate space of my 450 ft studio apartment, I have felt the quiet conviction that God wants me come to Him instead. Where I would text someone, He wants me to sit down. When I start googling, He wants me to be still and pray. When I want to cry to a friend, He is asking me to cry out to Him first.

I felt affirmed in my conviction as I was reading Lamentations the other day. Of a suffering man, the author writes,

Let him sit alone and be silent
Since He has laid it on him. (Lamentations 3:28, NASB)

I don't know why I found this verse so profound, because as I mulled it over, I realize God has been speaking this message to me again and again, year after year, across the pages of His word.

The LORD will fight for you while you keep silent. (Exodus 14:14, NASB)

Cease striving and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10, NASB), or
Be still, and know that I am God. (NIV)

Whom have I in heaven but You? (Psalm 73:25, NASB)

I don't have enough words within me to explain how hard and lonely it is to recognize and give up a reliance on human assurance. To put down the phone, shut off the laptop, and get down on your knees. To pray to a God that at times seems distant, while earthly advice seems so tangible.

But, at the end of the day and at the end of your life, it comes down to you and God. No one on this earth can fight the battles you will face. There is nothing in this world that can save you from your worst fears. The only hope you have is in Christ. God alone is the blessed controller of all things, and He demands your submission to His sovereignty.

So. We sit in our tiny, intimate rooms and quietly place our trust in a God who is far wiser and promises that every minute of waiting is for our good and His glory. We pray and cry out to a God that allows our suffering and sometimes meets us with silence, because we know we will not wait forever. We rely on a God who leads us down paths we do not understand, because He assures us that He is prospering us (Jeremiah 29:11), restoring us (1 Peter 5:10) , and fighting for us (Exodus 14:14).

We cease our striving and sit alone and wait on our God, because we know that our hope is not here.

-Britt

Awkward Truths

"i can kill some fried chicken"

tried to hit the main food groups

"i wonder if they  have shrimp cocktail up in this joint" 

we're the fun Bible study

-bRob

The Cool of the Day

One of my favorite parts of the creation account is in Genesis 3:8:

"They heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day..."

Now this verse is post-Fall and takes a dark turn right after these words as it goes on to describe Adam and Eve cowering and hiding from God in their shame. But , just looking at this first portion of the verse, I love that the Lord was there, in the cool of the day, to walk with His children.

Whenever I go on walk, I always think about that verse. I think of the Lord walking with Adam and Even through Eden, and whenever I feel a sweet, sudden breeze, I think about the fact that He probably likes walking with me, too. 

Today I walked to the rose garden. It's a beautiful spot, and I can't even imagine how many kisses, hand-holding lovers, proposals, and weddings that garden has seen. 

Of course I just went by myself. I picked up some of the fallen petals laying on the ground. I love the smell of roses.

I thought I might press the petals or do something artsy with them.

Instead I sprinkled them on my roommate's bed. 

Ha.

-bRob

Every Hour

This song has been in my head lately, mainly because RayRay was playing on my iHome as a repeated loop, and I was too lazy to go across the room and change it. Effort. pfft.

buying concert tickets tomorrow!

This song has been on my heart lately, mainly because it's true.

And this verse has been haunting me relentlessly lately:

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us"

- Hebrews 12:1

Have a sweet tuesday evening, er'ybody. For those readers on the college circuit - better get started on the homework that's due tomorrow! Or maybe I'm the only one who's super behind...

-bRob

Hold Someone's Hand.

It's a jungle out here.

Pictured here is the war zone that is my bed. On the far right corner you see my circuits book. I hate it. And yes, I hate it enough to use the word hate and make an angel lose her wings. HATE circuits. Other miscellanea: An eraser, a penny, a cute bear pen, Japanese rice crackers (gettin' in touch with my asian roots...my great-grandma's from Russia. It counts.) That is a CASIO calc, and is that...what?? Is that a zebra-striped snuggie? Yes. It is. Because if I wear a blanket, I couldn't move my arms. That simply won't do. On top of my fab snuggie is my planner (I know - it's the first time I've had one in, like, four years), my CIM notebook, and moving to the rear of the pic is a package from one sweet friend in Colorado, my study Bible, and the corner of my Jesus Journal. You will see that Compie 386 is currently downloading some Fountains of Wayne onto my iTunes.

Take a glimpse at my world. eat it up.

love,
bRob.

PS- Today I am thankful for that snuggie. Don't worry - I'll try and model it for you soon.