Fact over Feeling//Joy over Sadness

I don't know if I've told you this or not, Webs, but I struggle with depression. Now, depression comes in all colors and shapes and sizes, and I won't say mine is better or worse or harder or easier - what matters is that it is my burden. We all have our burdens, don't we?

Yesterday I felt the familiar dull, ache-y haze settling around me. Discouragement, apathy, and slow, throbbing heartache. I don't know what sadness or discouragement looks like for you, but it makes me just want to stop. Stop everything. Just lay in bed and stare at the wall in hopelessness. There are so many things that seem wrong right now.

I've been hobbling around on a cane for the past few days because my foot and ankle ache so badly, and I can't figure out why. I finally have the space and time to jog, only i can't. I don't know how I'll ever get back in shape and I CANT FIT INTO A SINGLE DAMN THING I OWN I WEAR THE SAME BURGUNDY PANTS ABOUT 12 TIMES A WEEK AND CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GET ME A PAIR OF PANTS THAT FITS. I have work enough to last 3 lifetimes, I think, and it's all super important and high priority though for the life of me i don't understand why this powerpoint needs another illegible infographic. i sincerely have no idea how i'll get it all done. and then of course there's every hurt and every awful thought swarming around inside me. I see what the devil's doing, and i see where he's trying to get my brain to go, and sometimes i feel too powerless to fight it.

But I woke up to another luscious green day out here in podunk nowhere, and today I feel called to choose. Choose to dwell in my sorrows or acknowledge the joy I've been given*. I can't say I feel any joy right now, but the fact is this: I have every reason to be joyous.

I have received encouragement from so many unexpected places (every one of your messages, comments, texts, conversations means the world - thank-you). I have The Cosby Show on dvd (this just seems like a thing to be grateful for because it is HILARIOUS). I live in the most gorgeous areas with cows so i can have more cow conversations on walks with my janky cane. My Grandma takes great care of me and loves me well.

Most importantly, I am reminded that I have been wrenched from sin and darkness and my worst self. God had me in His eye throughout my entire rebellion and never stopped wanting more for me. His vision for me was never an angry, broken, selfish half life that falls so so short. My Adopted Father has a grand beautiful plan for me (and you, by the way) and my (..and your) life in His Kingdom, though it may take some hurting and healing and refining to get there.

So today I will choose to focus on the facts - my joy - rather than succumb to feelings - my sadness.

-bRob

* I mean it when I say I know that depression comes in all forms. And I know that managing sorrow is not often as simple as choosing not to dwell in it, and sadness and joy are not mutually exclusive. This is just my sadness, my today.

PS. We should probably just change the name of this blog to Whatever JJ Heller Song bRob is Currently Crying About.

Brokenness made beautiful

The wars that You have won

And the storms You calmed in me

early mornings

blink and its over via void dweller 

mondays in general.

-bRob

untitled

 brown dress with white dots

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

-Robert H. Schuller

-bRob

TechniColor: Desolation and Renewal

So many photographers and artists are capturing the eerie remains of failed cities and abandoned structures, and since I've come across so many this week, I thought I'd share a lot of them with my good friend InterWebs.

And then there's all the other stuff I've been waiting to show you interspersed throughout.

mab-ken via gadling


An abandoned mining island in Nagasaki, Japan.

French By Design

Oh I would sing and sing and sing in this beautiful shower.

Probably at my someday vacation home in...somewhere tropical-ish.

I got bored and wondered why the QWERTY keyboard is laid out the way it is.

There. I wiki'd it for you.

via the coolest

An abandoned Ukrainian Submarine base













Dad: "Aw, my tomato plant is dying." [sigh] "Evolution."
No, Dad, not evolution.

ohdeedoh

An adorable and creative setup for fitting three children in one room.

design*sponge

Inflatable 70's stools.
I like them in a kind of quirky way...

after the final curtain via  buzzfeed



Abandoned theater and scaffolding in Newark, NJ

 via Industrial Design Served


Francois Hurtaud designed Eva as a means of waste recycling.  Though it appears minimalistic and sleek, the system has eight major components...one of which is an aquarium! 

Read  about how it works.

















 Tiffany Arment via  green wedding shoes


Rainbow wedding.
















 via colossal


Ransom Riggs documents the creation of desolation surrounding the Salton Sea - an accident. 
An abandoned city.
















Images of the Voila Gallery via apartment therapy

None of that should work but it all kind of does, you know?

yeowatzup via  gadling

Abandoned vacation resort in New Taipei, Taiwan.

Photographer Ocvirk Kus Danica in loftlife via apartment therapy

A former stable converted into a loft. Check out the other sweet pictures.

This song is so very stuck in my head right now.
When it comes on and I'm in my car, I break it down like the whitest kid you know.

anthropologie



Aw I would wear this dress and its delicate hem every single day.
In my room. While I twirl in front of the mirror.














Am I Wearing Pants?
Avoid the pants-less pandemic. This is important.

brown dress with white dots via dwellings

A dockside dinner.

Yves Marchand & Romain Meffre via Time

Abandoned Spanish Gothic theater in Detroit 
Spooky, eh?

Self-portrait with my grandmother

 via my modern metropolis

Anna Di Prospero is the artist behind this beautiful series of self-portraits. 

They are emotive and touching, and so well-done.

Self-portrait with my father

via hiphipgingin

If only I had the patience [and that beautiful hair].

Yves Marchand & Romain Meffre via Time

Abandoned dentist chair in the David Broderick Tower in Detroit

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

All your health questions and more answered in a very reliable Health Question & Answer Session.

Gordon Wiltisie via The Telegraph

Camping off the side of a 4000 ft cliff.
A small part of me wants to try it.

via the coolist

Abandoned Russian water park.

decopeques

I love this loft - the basic bedframe, the dark brick wall, the high high window. 

It looks like a magical little space...

Things Organized Neatly

A dismantled Volkswagen golf, piece by piece.

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

-Emerson

I went to a workout class with my parents. It was miserable - I have no sense of rhythm. Even the 70+ year old ladies beside me got their groove on...while I kind of walked around in circles and looked embarrassed.
Skip to 25 seconds to see what I look like in exercise class.
PS - sorry - you'll have to go to youtube to see it.






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Encouragement


Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being,
And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom.
Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Make me to hear joy and gladness,
Let the bones which You have broken rejoice.


Psalm 51:6-8


God renews. 

-bRob

A Sunday Psalm

I will lift my eyes to the mountains;

From where shall my help come?

My help comes from the LORD,

Who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to slip;

He who keeps you will not slumber.

Behold, He who keeps Israel 

Will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD is your keeper;

The LORD is your shade on your right hand.

The sun will not smite you by day,

Nor the moon by night.

The LORD will protect you from evil;

He will keep your soul.

The LORD will guard your going out and your coming in

From this time forth and forever.

Psalm 121

Sometimes...

Some days require more encouragement than others.

Encouragement

The LORD is near the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

-bRob

Isaiah 43

Encouragement

Postcard from Ashley, picture of downtown Greenville, SC



When you pass through waters, I will be with you;
and through rivers, they will not overflow you
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, 
Nor will the flame burn you.

Isaiah 43:2

-bRob

Technicolor: Music, Lights, Fairy Tales, Design

My week in links, pictures, and articles. Except my week looked a whole lot more like the inside of a library and lots of economics, circuits, and manufacturing. But I'll spare you those pictures.

enjoy, InterWebs.

Suggested listening while you read : 

I can never get enough Ingrid.

---------------------------------------

via Unstitched

Isn't that gorgeous? The lovely Lillian of Unstitched and talented Danni of Oh, Hello Friend took their boys and put together this beautiful table for a rooftop date night in Mexico. Lillian was kind enough to share her photos with us, InterWebs!

This sweet setup leaves me speechless. I would SO eat just about anything at that table.

Read the article about this single person submarine. Maybe I should trade in my jet-pack...

OH MY GOODNESS. I am begging you to go read this note and other ridiculous Notes from Chris. They absolutely slay me.






via Lovely Package

Yunyeen Yong designed these colorful juice boxes. A) I want kiwi juice, B) These are bomb. If they had had these around when I was a kid, CapriSun would've been toast. 

via PostSecret

That's what I always tell myself, too! [because otherwise nasty road-rage bRob comes out...and no one wants that,]

The Ten Most Revealing Psych Experiments
Interesting.

via Alyssa @ mymodernmet

Artist: Matt Sartain

The dream-like photographs are part of a dynamic series entitled Misadventures.  Don't they make you want to go exploring? Go visit Matt Sartain's website to view more, and learn how the photo above was compiled at Mr. Sartain's blog. 

Each one of his photographs feels like its own fairytale, no? 

Your Weekly Addiction

I love passing on little InterWeb addictions =)

this tiny house (i think my new favorite blog!)

ellmania

I am such a fan of twinkle lights above a bed. They are so sweet. Fun fact: I plan on having twinkle lights at my wedding. I think. Pics via apartment therapy.

...And speaking of lights:

Check out these beautiful and modern lights. I wanted to post a picture, but I couldn't figure out how...It's ok. I trust that you're curious enough to go check out Bocci's incredible lights on your own.

...And speaking of lights...again...

via this tiny house
source Kara Paslay Designs

This is pretty amazing. Apparently, in theory, this is a DIY project. I don't imagine I could ever really create this chandelier without a lot of injury, sparks, and property damages.

"There was so much in you that charmed me that I felt I must tell you something about yourself. I thought how tragic it would be if you were wasted." 

-Oscar Wilde

via Refinery29

Would you be able to live here??

via apartment therapy

Another creative use of small space. In case you haven't noticed, living in small, tiny spaces is the new megaTrend. It's greener and cheaper and, honestly, cuter. How fun is that lofted bed?

via apartment therapy

While minimalism is far from my aesthetic (does clutter count as a design aesthetic?), I think we can all agree this is a pretty cool setup. 








10 Stylish PC Home Offices Without An Apple in Sight
Because I'm on a vendetta against macs.
[at least until I can afford one...]

I'm pretty sure working at InventionLand would drive me bonkers. What a wacky and creative work environment... I couldn't handle it. Read the article at mymodernmet.

via toxel

Sarah Jane Williams

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Encouragement

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.

1 Cor 13:12

-bRob

Pearls

Postcard from Ashley 

The burden of suffering seems a tombstone hung about our necks, while in reality, it is the weight which is necessary to keep down the diver while he is hunting for pearls.

-Jean Paul Richter

It's Monday.

-bRob